Top 5 Wedding Myths

I must spend a lot of money on my wedding, to have it be memorable and special.

Not True. A little, ok, a lot, of preparation goes a long way! Enlist in the right help (a wedding planner like myself, for instance,) and we can find unique ways to make your wedding yours, and stay on budget. DIY is all the wedding rage these days, and is a great way to save money, to a point. Just leave the catering, photography and some other important aspects to the pros. You can, however, make some fabulous embellishments to your wedding stationary/favors, create simple table centerpieces, and even make your own jewelry!

2. 2. I cannot have a big, traditional wedding if I am marrying for a second time.

Not True. Ok, long ago, Miss Manners would have disagreed, but this is a different time. Second, or third, or fourth time brides can wear white, they can be married in a church, they can have the big reception, do the cake cutting, bouquet toss, garter toss, all of it! Everything is simply up to the personal preference of the couple. One thing, however, might be considered a faux paux; to register for gifts. Although some of your guests may insist on getting you some sort of wedding gift, it is not proper etiquette to expect wedding gifts (or money,) if this is not your first wedding. You may however, only when asked of course, suggest that a donation be made to your favorite charity, in your name, in lieu of a traditional wedding gift.

3. 3. A cocktail and hors d’ouevres reception will save us money, rather than doing a sit-down meal.

Not True. Well this one depends on your definition of “hors d’ouevres reception,” but typically, for this type of party, I suggest 5 pieces of hors d’ouevres per person, per hour. So, if you are doing a 2 hour cocktail reception, at $3 per piece, that is $30 a head. That does not even factor in your waitstaff fees, which, let’s face it, are going to be doing more work continually passing food around. Also, guests drink MORE during a cocktail/hors d’ouevres only reception. So, if you are hosting the bar, you may end up spending a great deal more, than if you were to do a seated meal, or buffet. What it comes down to, is, what is right for you and your guests? What sort of mood do you want to set? Then be honest with your caterer about what your budget is, and see if you can work out some creative compromises.

4. 4. The bride always walks down the aisle with her father.

Not True. I can personally attest to this one. At my wedding, I walked down the aisle alone. No, my dad hadn’t passed away. Yes, he was at the wedding ceremony. But I chose to independently enter into my marriage, not to be “given away.” In this day and age, there are no “traditional” families, or at least very few that I have encountered. (Both sets of parents still together, everybody getting along.) Today brides may have to decide between, “do I walk down the aisle with my biological father, who has never been there for me, or my step-father who I have grown up with?” (My suggestion, if the decision is too hard to make, walk with them both, one on each arm!) A bride might choose to walk down with her mother, who has been her sole-support system. Heck, I am working with a bride right now who has to figure out how to incorporate a father’s male partner. So while there is no easy answer here on who should walk you down the aisle, the decision has to be a personal one.

5. 5. I can just hire a “day of wedding planner” or use my venue’s coordinator to ensure that my wedding will run smoothly.

Not true! While I do offer a package that I have come to refer to as “Week of Wedding Planning,” in all actuality, this package should be contracted at a minimum of 1 month prior to a bride’s wedding date. There is no such thing as “day of wedding planning,” or if there is, it is not going to be very beneficial to you! My package includes at least 1 month’s time of preparation, contacting contracted wedding vendors, checking checklists, organizing event timelines, looking over contracts, meeting with the bride and groom on several occasions, attending the site walk-through, directing the rehearsal and of course working a 12-16 hour day, the day of the wedding. Any planner that says that they can do all of this, without the proper preparation and experience, and just swing in, on the day of the wedding to hope that things run smoothly, is wrong! Your venue may come with a “coordinator,” which may lead you to believe that you need not hire a professional wedding planner. This coordinator works for the hotel, church, park, etc, they do not work for you! This person will not be your advocate for how you want things to go, on your wedding day. They will not be familiar with which family members the photographers needs in the photos, what songs are on your do-not play list, that uncle Mike should not be allowed near the open bar, and that it is very, very important to you to have your heirloom hair pin exchanged for your veil after the ceremony. Oftentimes, the assigned employee may even depart after you cut the cake, leaving your loved ones to be the ones to put all of the gifts in the car, clean up the décor, return rentals, sweep the floors and take out the trash! After all of the work that you all have put into planning this day, isn’t peace of mind worth hiring someone who is going to be standing in your corner?